2018 has already been a crazy hot mess for me (you too?). As you know I chose to embody "flow" and "ease" and the universe is definitely testing those practices--Side Note: this is how we grow, friends!
So far my Grandmother has been in the ER for surgery and found a breathing issue on top of it, we adopted a stray kitten and we lost one of our cats due to a possible kidney issue. All this within the last six weeks. Not to mention I've added to my class schedule, my husband picked up a part time job (on top of his personal businesses), and I'm still working my 40 hour a week day job.
The most recent wound, the loss of our cat, Jasper. It hit us hard. For the first day and a half I couldn't eat. If I did, it didn't stay down. I stayed home from work. I cancelled classes and I cried, hard. I couldn't sleep and of course, felt like it was all my fault.
It happened so fast and we weren't prepared. When the ER Vet told us it didn't look good, I sobbed. Those loud painful sobs that you only see in movies.
This was my baby. My little buddy that laid on the couch with me with his head buried in the blankets. He rolled around on the bed, making chirping bird-like noises. He played fetch with sparkle balls and was always ready to cuddle. He followed me around during the day and slept on my feet at night.
Grief is difficult.
We're not ready for it. Even if we are "prepared" and a passing is "expected", we're not ready for the little moments in life that those people/pets touched. Those few seconds before you leave the house in the morning or getting a dish out of the dishwasher. Those little tasks now seem insurmountable.
There was a moment when I went to feed the new kitten, Louie, and Sookie and I broke down. Not because I only had two dishes of food on the counter. Not because Jasper wasn't there sitting patiently on the floor waiting. It was the little bit of food left on the spoon. Jasper always tried to lick the spoon, sort of like when you bake brownies and the kids (or yourself) lick the spoon after mixing.
It's those little moments in life that really connect us. Drinking coffee with a friend. Rocking out to music in your girlfriend's car on the way to the mall/etc. Letting your cat lick a spoon.
Those little things make the day special. These things that we don't notice are special until it doesn't happen. The little things we're told to cherish but unknowingly take for granted because it's routine.
Please, take a moment today to notice and send some love to those little moments. Cherish the time you spend with loved ones. We truly never know when we won't have the chance again.
Lost in Love,
- Jenn Rose
(Photo by Alex Boyd on Unsplash
Photo of Jasper Cat by Jenn Rose
Photo by taylor hernandez on Unsplash)